Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Best Supporting Actor Satire

*Originally written on December 2, 2009*

If you guys remember, I had written a satire from the nominees of Best Actor and Best Actress for the TVB 42nd Anniversary Awards. I had initially planned to do so for the rest of the nominees too. I had no witty lines or anything to come up with as well as no time. In the end, the continuation of the satire never happened. However, while I was looking through my unfinished drafts today, I noticed this one. I then remembered I had managed to finish the satire for Best Supporting Actor. Though I have no wish to finish it as the timing's way off, I thought I'd at least release this 'never before seen' satire...

Done with the leads, now it's to the supporting...

Best Supporting Actor

Executive #1: If it weren't for Laughing Gor, we would've been stuck in a rut this whole year. Not to mention, we would've never been able to score good ratings. TVB is so giving him this award. Why don't they just rename it The Laughing Gor Award so we don't have to come up with 14 other nominations?
Executive #2: If only our jobs were so easy. Long live Laughing Gor though! He is the TVB God of 2009!
Executive #1: You are so weird sometimes.
Executive #2: But aren't I right? Michael Tse's Laughing Gor was the first positive thing to happen to the entertainment industry this year! All the gossips and ridiculous scandals were getting so annoying..
Executive #1: Agreed. Ok, nominate Ngok Wah and Kenny Wong from The Gem Of Life. I don't care if the series was a failure, we spent too much time on that production to let those darn artistes go to waste.
Executive #2: I know, I don't plan on wasting so much time on a production anymore. Isn't it great how life has so many 'shortcuts'?
Executive #1: It is and it's obvious the rest of TVB thinks so!
Executive #1: It doesn't matter how big a failure The Gem of Life was, we spent too much time putting the big cast together to let them go to waste. Nominate Ngok Wah and Kenny Wong.
Executive #2: Oh, darn! We forgot to nominate Raymond Wong for his performance in Sweetness in the Salt in Best Actor!
Executive #1: You forgot, but I didn't. I just didn't bring it up. You know, Raymond isn't exactly one of the actors we wish to promote. Raymond Wong at least, Raymond Lam yes.
Executive #2: Well then, might as well nominate him here. Oh, never forget our unexpected success Rosy Business. Ngo Ka Nin definitely deserves a nomination.
Executive #1: *sighs* I guess TVB's diabolical plan to give Ngo Ka Nin kelefe and minor supporting roles forever failed. With such a great critical reaction from the audience of his performance we'll be fried if we don't promote him now.
Executive #2: Nothing is guaranteed in life.
Executive #1: Gee, those are the deepest and most intelligent words I've ever heard you utter.
Executive #2: Hey, I know I can be rather clueless sometimes but at least I'm impartial! Unlike you who is willing up to kiss up to TVB by going by their silly biased ways!
Executive #1: Me a kiss up?! *starts to lose temper* Ok, nevermind. How about Ron? He was in Rosy Business too.
Executive #2: Pff. What happened to your little 'they're one of our top siu sangs and it'll be embarrassing if we put them in the supporting category' theory?
Executive #1: I'm taking revenge for TVB. If you noticed, we didn't nominate Ron's performance in E.U. for Best Actor despite the fact he's obviously improved. Haven't you noticed he's been filming mainland series these days? He's barely filming with us now!
Executive #2: Looks like Sammul Chan's been spending too much time with him during filming. The Mr. I Have No Contract With TVB is having an influence on him.
Executive #1: Argh, Sammul!
Executive #2: The boy's pretty smart. If I was an actor I'd probably go work in the mainland too, they pay so much better and he actually gets lead roles there.
Executive #1: Oh, shut up! Ok, now just go through all the supporting actors from the series this year: Tsui Wing, Stephen Au, Evergreen Mak, and Dominic Lam.
Executive #2: Don't forget about Derek Kwok!
Executive #1: Oh yes. Poor guy's been working his butt off for so long and all he gets is a nomination. Like he'll ever win. *evil laugh*
Executive #2:
And you think I have problems. Maybe you should've joined TVB as an actor instead.
Executive #1: I did, I failed TVB's acting class. And I didn't have someone famous like Louis Koo backing me up like Ron did.
Executive #2: Wow, no wonder you dislike him so much.
Executive #1: Mhm. Ok, obviously don't forget our supporting actors of our grand productions Beyond and Born Rich.
Executive #2:
Boy, is Lee Kwok Lun awesome in Beyond! Ram is hilarious and so sweet too! Kenneth is great too!
Executive #1: Yeah, yeah, they're amazing. One more nomination left!
Executive #2: *thinking*
Executive #1:
Oh, Joel Chan in E.U.! It doesn't matter he had practically no screen time. He comes in so handy when we need someone to play a short guest appearance as an ex boyfriend and such! Let's give him this nomination to make him feel wanted!
Executive #2: Wow, great thinking!

No comments:

Post a Comment