"How to be a Fan" Satire

TVB Interaction introduces the latest installment in its collection of satirical guides!  This time, I will teach you how to be a fan.  Being a hardcore fan can be a lot of hard work, but with this "how to" guide, doing so will be easier than ever!

1. Be hypersensitive.
People joke, people mock, and people criticize.  No matter what people say about your idol, take it to heart.  No matter what the person's tone or intention is, take everything they say or write seriously.

2. Put down and criticize other people's idols.
You're not a true fan unless you openly hate on other people's idols.  Let them know whose idol is better! If you are a hardcore fan, spend time editing other people's idols wiki pages and badmouth them.

3. Blindly love all of their work.
An idol is bound to have their great projects, less than amazing projects, and projects that are just plain terrible.  No matter what, love everything they do.  Not liking anything they do makes you a disgrace of a fan.

4. Brag about your idol regularly on forums.
Once again, let them know whose idol is better!  Praise, compliment, and glorify your idol to your heart's content, whether it's on their own thread, someone else's thread, or a thread about a series he or she is not in.

5. Hate whoever your idol starts to date, no matter how happy they or with them because that means you can't be with them.  As if that were possible.
One of the key things about being a fan is wanting their idol to be alone forever.  If your idol does start to date someone, openly talk about how much you hate that person.  If you can't be with them, no one else should be able to.  Your idol's happiness doesn't matter to you, as long as you get to sleep knowing your idol isn't in someone else's arms.

Follow these five steps, and you will be a true fan!  Your idol will be so proud!

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Comments: This is just a short satire I wrote since I haven't written one so long and was inspired.

It's funny how some people classify being a fan as.  The above is how some fans act.  I don't mind those fan girls who spazz and get excited over their idol.  While I usually don't act that way and find them a bit silly at times, I overall don't mind them and find them kind of cute.  However, there are fans who get way too worked up over their idol.

I've been spending less and less time reading and commenting on sites like JayneStars.  Some fans get offended too easily, yet they can be very vicious as well.  For example, you have your Kate haters who will take every opportunity to put her down and your Ron fans.  While I understand Ron fans increasing anger at the small roles he's been receiving lately, they're still a bit too much.  When Ruco emerged as the lead over Ron in "ATF", Ron fans attacked Ruco fans saying it wasn't fair, even though it wasn't his fault.  The most ridiculous thing I've seen is some girls saying things like "She is so ugly" and "She should go die" about their idol's girlfriends.  Seriously?

 I hope people don't go rabid on me for writing this.  My loyal readers should enjoy this satire.  I haven't written one in probably two years.