Saturday, October 24, 2009

New Feature: TVB In Court

TVB Interaction introduces its second feature, and first satire feature: TVB in Court. Why such a random name? It's because TVB is going to court. Ok, fine, not really. However, what if they did? What kinds of lawsuits would they face? TVB Interaction takes a sarcastic and amusing look at what could possibly happen...

Case #1

Lawsuit- A TVB viewer, Kristen Lee, complains that TVB gives newbies who can't act no proper training and hands them main and first supporting roles.

Kristen Lee - Plaintiff
Producer - Defendant

Judge: Please state your case Ms. Lee.
Kristen: There's something wrong with TVB! They give these pretty-faced pageant winners with no acting experience main and first supporting roles! And they don't even get proper training! Ever heard of acting school? You know, where Tavia Yeung came from?
Judge: Interesting. Defendant, what do you have to say to that?
Producer: It's called on job training, miss.
Kristen: [yells] On job training?!

Judge: No yelling in the court please.
Producer: *smirks* Yes. After all, the best way of learning to do something is putting yourself out there, and doing it. Don't you think, Ms. Lee? [smug expression]
Kristen: *grumbles* Tell that to all the Kate Tsui haters.

Producer: *starts to get annoyed* Every actor or actress is bound to have 'haters.' Not everyone likes Tavia Yeung.
Kristen: At least her haters don't hate her because her acting sucks! You know why? She's a trained actress!
Producer: It's not our fault! Practically none of our artistes have gone to college! You think they'll want to go to an acting school?

Judge: *thinking* They're so loud. Argh, the only reason I decided to become a judge for entertainment related cases was because I thought it'd be easier on me. You don't need half a brain for it. Who would've thought I'd find myself with a headache instead?
Kristen: Then why won't you give more opportunities to those who are trained?
Producer: Like who?! Tavia Yeung?

Kristen: Yeah! And not ten years after they've joined TVB! You didn't even give a second glance at the girl before then!
Producer: Well, she doesn't stand out.

Kristen: Why not? Because she doesn't have a bunch of rumors around her? She doesn't reveal her skin? Doesn't have rumors about dating co-stars?
Producer: Enough about Tavia!

Judge: *clears throat* Again, please no yelling in court.
Kristen: Fine! Then what about the ones that have actually gone to university? Like Mandy Cho? She joined TVB after participating in the pageant and received main roles then left a while after to get a college degree. When she came back a couples years later after graduating, she's only received small supporting roles!
Producer: I believe you're getting off topic.

Kristen: How so?
Producer: You filed a complaint against us because we're supposedly giving main and first supporting roles to pageant winners without giving them proper training. Mandy Cho has taken part in a pageant. Isn't that right, your honor? [smug]

Judge: *moves uncomfortably in seat* Um, yes. That's right.
Kristen: Well while I'm being 'off topic' I'd like to point out that the pageant winners are getting worse and worse each year. What's so special about Leanne Li? She's pretty, but Fala is beautiful! And Tracey Ip? Come on! All these ladies are pretty, but not Miss Hong Kong or Miss Chinese International material.
Producer: *nervously and unsure of what to say* It's what's on the inside that counts?
Judge: *thinking* That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard.

Kristen: What's on the inside that counts?! What more phonier reason could you give? If it's what's on the inside that counts, then why would you hold pageants every year and judge ladies based on their appearance?
Judge: *thinking* She took the words out of my mouth.
Producer: Well...*stutters*
Judge: *thinking* This guy's an idiot. If I wasn't a judge and have to maintain my attitude, I'd give him a piece of my mind. Or make HIM go to college. But he wouldn't make it in.
Kristen: Speechless, eh?
Judge: *rubs temples* Owie.
Producer: *bursts and starts yelling* Well, what do you expect?! It's more expensive to pay the veterans! It's cheaper to hire the newbies!
Kristen: So you're cheap?
Producer: Course I'm not! TVB's not cheap either! But you gotta do what you gotta do! Everyone's suffering from the poor economy and so are we!
Judge: *thinking* If it were up to me I'd just lay off you.

Kristen: Not necessarily, everyone. If I was suffering from the poor economy as well, how would I have enough money to battle you in this court? [smug face]
Judge: *glances at watch* Speaking of which, your time is almost up. [lying]
Kristen: There's a time limit?
Judge: Um, yeah. New regulation...we haven't added it to the paperwork yet.
Kristen: Well...ok. Do you have a verdict, your honor?
Judge: Uh...yeah.
Producer: *plays with hands silently*
Judge: There is no verdict. This case is ridiculous. *leaves court room without letting Kristen or the producer a chance to reply*

****10 minutes later***
Judge: Boss?

Boss: Yes?
Judge: I quit.

Ok, not the best. Not very funny either. It didn't turn out the way I had hoped. I'm working on trying out different writing styles though. I'll let you guys decide on whether this is good or not. :)

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